TimLovesTech (AuDHD)(he/him)

Holy shit is that is a very bad take!

You don’t know a thing about this guy. And to put all her pain on him without knowing shit about either of them is completely out of line.

And it is possible to be surrounded by love and still have a void that cannot be filled. Just knowing you’re “different” can be a mind job in and of itself. But making this all about the dad diminishes her feelings, her pain, her guilt.

/rant

I’m truly saddened by your story, but thank you for sharing it. And unfortunately the stigma and shame that comes with things like ADHD can be overwhelming. It is easy to go down the rabbit hole of “if only I could be normal…”, or “what would my life be like if I didn’t have ADHD…” and quickly lead to depression and more guilt.

The rate of death by suicide is alarmingly high among neurodivergent individuals, which is a real issue needing more attention. We need to work to demolish the stigma of these diagnoses, and make it a world where people can feel comfortable asking for help.

Ok this has brought me down, so I’m done in this thread for a bit, maybe I’ll check back later.

Not to completely shit on dad here either, it could well be that he is also on the spectrum and has lived in an environment that has instilled in him that you just ignore your needs because that makes you “normal”. That is why I was wondering about mom, as it is more than likely one of them is on the spectrum also and perhaps just never diagnosed and their child being diagnosed has unlocked some shit.

Anyways I’m not a psychiatrist, just going through my own adult realization of things, and it’s not easy.

I know it probably doesn’t mean much from an internet stranger, but I’m sorry for your loss. I couldn’t imagine that kind of pain, since you never expect them to go before you. 😢 Thank you for sharing your story.

She is 27 and still living at home where the article describes the dad as her caretaker. She has both an autism and ADHD diagnosis, but Dad thinks all her physical symptoms derive from her making them up, because he believes her to have an undiagnosed mental illness. I’m just one person that believes they are on the spectrum (with ADHD), but physical symptoms are real. Having a caretaker that refuses to believe you is not going to make for a great life. Especially depending on your symptoms, which again because she is 27 and still at home with a parental caretaker, I’m guessing that they are pretty involved.

Also, these are often both genetic and passed down from a parent, so where is mom in this scenario? And might that also be playing a part in this?

Anyhoo, my 2 cents.