One of the worst for me was thinking about the past, the people, the things that happened, the incidents, and finding out that it was always me or my actions that were the reason something went wrong for somebody. Everything, always. I guess this fits into the chart’s self-loathing sector.
I haven’t been in that place for years, decades even. The “everything, always” was the feeling when the days were the darkest and I was pretty much a recluse in my apartment.
Luckily it didn’t last for too many weeks and I got a lot better. Of course I did mistakes in my past, but when I think about how absurdly distorted view of the past events I had in my mind it reminds me of how the depression can really fuck a person up.